My First Christmas Without My Mother
Every Christmas I can hardly sleep at night because I am so excited to wake up in the early morning to celebrate Christmas with my little family which consists of my mother, father, and older brother (and of course all my puppies.)
My mom was always extremely excited she could barely stand waiting to watch my brother, and I open the presents she picked out for us. She enjoyed cooking breakfast for the family after opening presents along with opening a nice bottle of champagne all together as a family. Yes, champagne at 10:00 A.M., but that was just what my mom preferred!
I knew that this year, Christmas was going to be extremely hard and different
I was aware that the holidays were going to be difficult without my mother, but I had no idea what I was going to endure until it Christmas morning arrived.
Anyone who has lost a family member understands how holidays that you typically spend with them just are not the same and it is hard to believe that they ever will be the same again.
I was fortunate enough to open a present from my mom this morning because she was able to go Christmas shopping one time before she became too ill in November of this year. It didn’t matter what is was that I was opening, all it mattered was that it was something from my mom.
It taught me that it never mattered what the presents were I opened on Christmas morning, what truly mattered was that I had my mother sitting over me, watching me open the gifts she bought me with joy and happiness all over her face.
As much as it hurts not having her here with me, I like to believe that now my mom is an angel and she was still watching over me this Christmas morning.
I didn’t write this blog post to talk about how sad and empty I felt this morning and feel today. I wrote this post to remind myself how lucky I am to have experienced so many beautiful Christmas mornings in the past and the memories I will forever have of these mornings.
I also want to remind my readers to cherish every moment they have through the holidays with their family members. I know that Christmas will never be the same and I do not expect it to be. The next few years the holidays will probably suck, and it will take time till I enjoy them like I used to, but I will learn to enjoy Christmas in a new way. I know that just because things change in life in ways, I never expected or wanted, I still have to move forward and find different ways to enjoy the holidays because that is precisely what my mom would want me to do.
I want to wish a happy holiday to everyone and to ask you to hug your family extra tight and never to take any moment for granted.
To anyone who is struggling to get through the holidays this year;
Keep pushing and remember to look for the positive in everything even when it seems impossible.
The main thing I have learned this holiday season and the reason I choose to write about my first christmas without my mother, is that life is extraordinarily weird and I do not know why most of the things that go on in life happen the way they do, but pushing forward and living each day to the fullest is the best thing to do.
Merry Christmas to all!