5 Things I've Learned from Losing my Mom in my 20's

It’s been 19 months today since I lost my mom when I was 20 years old. A lot has happened and changed since that day. I wanted to take a little time to reflect on that past 19 months and share five things that I have learned during these months.

5 Things I’ve learned from losing my Mom during my 20’s

1 .It’s hard moving on to the next stage or period of your life and having to leave behind the previous stage or era, the one where you lost your mother. I knew graduating college without my mom being here to see it was going to hurt pretty bad, but I never realized how hard starting my adult life without her here would be.

2. Accomplishments, milestones, achievements, etc. are exciting and still are important, but something about these things just doesn’t feel the same as they used to. I still want to see the smile on her face knowing I made her proud. I have learned to try and celebrate good things in life more, but it is undoubtedly a work in progress.

3. Most people my age can’t understand what I’m going through at all, yet it’s not their fault. Real friendships/relationships can and will make it through these challenges, although it’s not simple. Though I’ve learned the best thing to do in these situations is, to be honest with yourself and the people around you.

4. There probably won’t be a day that I don’t wish more than anything I could pick up the phone and call my mom. It’s okay to sometimes feel really sad when other people get to pick up the phone and call their mom’s whenever they want. I’ve learned feeling anger or bitterness about it though, is the worst possible thing you can do. Anger and bitterness won’t bring my mom or anyone else who has lost their mom back.

5. I’ve learned some days are very good and I feel really happy, and feel at peace with my loss. I have learned it’s also okay to feel like complete shit about it on other days. It doesn’t matter how much time passes. There is no “getting over it,” and there shouldn’t be. I’ve learned that there is no one right way to deal with losing my mom and everyone will have their own way of doing so.

We can all learn from each other, I’ve learned so much from other people that have lost loved ones close to them. I’m so thankful for that, and I hope I can do the same for some of you reading this post. 

To anyone reading this that has lost their mother or someone else important and close to them, please know that you are not alone and there are people who understand some of what you are feeling. 

This wasn’t as positive as some of my blog posts are, but I just wanted to keep it real with you guys! <3 Thank you for reading and as always I would love to hear from any of you. 

c'est la vie, 

Dominique